Have you seen the kind of advertising that’s been popping up lately? It’s enough to make me miss the old Shoot the Monkey and You Are the Ten Millionth Visitor nonsense.
I refer, of course, to these horrible and unfortunately ubiquitous ads about body improvement. Cheap and easy body improvement which allows you to do X by following simple rules (obey). It started with these horrible images of a flabby stomach which somehow manage to burn into your brain no matter how hard you try not to look at them. Now they’ve decided to branch out, and we now have ads hawking tooth whitening for cheapskates. Okay internet, enough is enough. I don’t care how simple the rules are, I want you to stop showing these obnoxious ads. Okay? Are we clear here?
For future reference, here are two simple rules to follow to lose weight (obey): 1. Stop eating so much 2. Take a walk instead of watching so much TV. And here’s how to whiten your teeth for under $10: 1. Photograph your teeth. If you don’t have a digital camera, use a friend’s. 2. Download The GIMP and use it to alter the appearance of your teeth.
Alternatively you could try leading a healthy lifestyle and brushing your teeth, thus nullifying the entire issue.
In the meantime, I’ll be waiting for an ad which details the Two Simple Rules for Destroying Obnoxious Advertising (obey).
Yes, I know about AdBlock, and I do use it, but these ads are hard to kill. I don’t subscribe to an ad database on principle (it’s kind of like stealing to block all advertisements), I only use it to axe ones which especially bug me. Understand, internet?
